Emo post again.

I really don't want to be like this but i just need a place to said this out. 

My dad condition is getting worse. Cannot stand up after finish business in toilet. Cannot climb up to motor when my brother want to fetch him. Walk a bit also very tired. Leg swell. Not appetite again. Eat at morning and then night time just hungry and eat a bit again. I am so in dilemma now..... should i go back...or not....

This affected my labor day feeling. Whole day no mood and don't want to go anywhere. Whenever i am so stressed and moody, i will play my guitar and sing out loud. Hopefully my housemate don't mind. Or i will go to music cafe to listen people sing. 

I don't want to find anyone today. I don't want to talk to anyone today. I don't want to meet anyone and don't want to accept any call today. I also don't want to call anyone today. I don't want to let my friend see my moody moment. 

I feel so powerless....because i cannot do anything to help my dad having a better life. Its all my fault. I am so tired now. I am really considering....should i go back..... Many friends in Sibu asked me, when will i go back... but i tell them all, i will be staying long term in KL. I like here so much.....

And this year had make a lot of mistakes.... i really hope this year can reset....

T_T

If i am given a chance to restudy my college.....i think i will choose the same place and same subject. It suits me very much. I am a Web developer, a programmer. I do coding. I do something that not everyone can do. But because of this job habit, it had caused me several problem. Thinking too much is one of it. Arghhh!!!! 

Want crazy liao......

Alright.... finish my emo post..... now get back to topic.

I still will stay in KL no matter what happened. I will just work harder to keep more money. Stop with girl chasing now. It money consuming. Its really money consuming. Focus on work first.