Moody

All the time i was in KL, i feel much better because i dont like my home in Sibu. The main reason is because my mom left us early to the heaven and now my dad is in charge of home. He is doing a bad job. Really bad one. 

However, seeing him in his current state really pain my heart out. He cannot walk to bathroom so he didnt bath for few months. My big bro who quit his job to take care of dad only clean his body everyday. My big bro almost gone crazy due to the stress and psychology tension. He often said he wish the world end like what the mayan calendar said.... i really really dont know what should i do. 

Its really painful to see him like that. Even if he is not a good dad. Somewhere in my mind saying,"wouldnt it be better for all of us if my dad go to meet my mom?" My bro can start to work back. We have less tension and stress. Everything will become peaceful. However, this is my dad. Even though his leg got some hole and inside the hole got worm, even if he cannot shit and pee properly, he is still my dad. I am putting aside everything now, except my work and my dad.... and my bros. I dont want to have any new commitment. I will just go with the flow. 

Next week will be a big week, determine whether i will continue to stay in my current company to work or i will start looking for a new job. I am looking for higher salary pay, wherever i need to go. I will care less about other thing now. Even socializing if needed. Let other people say i am antisocial or what, i dont care...

I wish there is some way to reduce my big bro stress.